I will take a break from the wedding updates and include a tid-bit of random info about yours truly...
Last year, on this very day, I entered my first competitive eating event. I went in to this not knowing what to expect. It was Cinco de Mayo and Mattito's had been advertising a Bob Armstrong Dip (queso with taco meat, guac, sour cream, pico) eating contest - well, I LOVE ALL THINGS CHEESE - it's a very unhealthy habit, but, an oh-so-tasty one. Prior to the contest I was thinking oh, they'll probably just bring out a few little bowls and the person to finish the most in a minute wins, no biggie. I was able to chat with the owner about an hour or so before the contest. They were only allowing 5 contestants and you had to eat the dip from a chip - that was pretty much the only info he'd share...after chatting a bit more, and turning up the charm a little, he also shared with me that the ingredients would not be mixed together. Hmmm, that got my 'smart' side of the brain thinking - what weighs the most? So, I came up with the strategy of eating the cheese first, then the sour cream, then the guac and last the meat. I also hit up my always reliable friend Google for a little tip session on eating contests. Welp, I had missed out on the majority of the tips like eating 5 heads of lettuce the day of and doing other random things to "stretch your stomach" - but, there was one that caught my eye. It said that if you wiggle while eating then it would help the food go down faster, in turn allowing you to eat more. What the heck, I'll try that one.
So, contest time rolled around and they had all of the contestants lined up at a table overflowing with chips - me and 4 boys...there was one "healthy" boy that had been talking smack to me for the past 30 minutes, I lined up next to him - I felt like I might have the upper hand, knowing he had been pounding water the whole time - rookie mistake, duh ;)
Once we got all lined up there was a grand entrance of servers with the BUCKETS of queso...10 POUNDS to be exact. GULP...umm, what am I doing??
They announced the rules and in an instant the timer started. I had my cheerleaders, which I swear there is no way I would have even made it through the first minute if it hadn't been for them. The announcer did a continious countdown - which every minute/second marker was amplified in my head. Finally, 30 SECONDS I heard the lady call out. Scoop, Scoop, Scoop...that is all I could think to myself. TIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEE!!
Oh wow - I really just did that. Cheese dripping from my face, down my chin, off my hands - Classy Teresa, classy.
As they weighed each of the buckets I kept trying to eyeball to see if I could tell how I did against my competition...hmmm, mine looks like it has the biggest dent in it?? No way. As they started to announce the winners I could feel not only the excitement building, but also the gallons of queso that I had just inhaled - you would be disqualified if you "lost it" so I fought it back.
5th place - not me; 4th place - not me; 3rd place - not me...UMM, I am going to be so upset if I get 2nd place - not me. Hold the phone - 1st place, TERESA!!!!! You seriously would have thought that I had just won the lottery or Miss America! I was jumping up and down and pridefully held the trophy over my head, again, keepin' it classy. As the excitement died down I could feel those 2.8 pounds of queso coming up. Ma'am can we interview you for the 10 o'clock news, ma'am can we get some info from you, ma'am, ma'am. It was like I blacked out...on queso? I made a mad dash to the restroom where I sat for a good, umm, yeah, HOUR!
Once I resurfaced the madness had died down, but I still couldn't focus. Was I Cheese Wasted? The next morning I woke up for a 9am Strategy Meeting ---> HUNGOVER. Keep in mind I had one margarita at about 6pm and a beer about 10pm, no way I was hungover. I literally struggled all day long, I really was suffering from a CHEESE HANGOVER.
Needless to say, I will not be participating in this year's event. The owner called me a few weeks back to let me know that they were saving me a spot for the contest - I politely declined. He then asked if I would host the event...I gave it some serious thought, but decided it would be too much driving and I just couldn't make it work. Today is a little sad for me, as I am missing such a monumental event and I won't get to see who will take my title.
For your viewing & reading pleasure...
Dallas Observer Stories - the writer was in the contest last year and is participating this year
Those of you celebrating Cinco de Mayo eat some queso for me...or better yet see how much you can guzzle down in 5 minutes.
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